I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Randomize
