im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Sorry about my life...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
