its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
