I wish I could teleport
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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