I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
