"it" just moved
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
