My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
