i don't like sucking hair
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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