I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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