Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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