its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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