I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
