woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
