Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
