Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Randomize
