So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize