You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
