i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize