rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
