Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
