You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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