I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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