i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
