apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
