Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
