thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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