I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just cut my nipple shaving
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
try to milk me bitch
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
