why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
