Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
