no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
