Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
