You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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