He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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