Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize