idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
