Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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