who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It's just like the Real World with babies
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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