I think I am morally bankrupt
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
