i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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