connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
