if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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