I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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