Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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