Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
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If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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