Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
