they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
