how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
