She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
