why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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