Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize