please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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