Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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