Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
