i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize