we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
