I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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