If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
