We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
