paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize