how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
