Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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