she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
