i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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