i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
