Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize