can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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