We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
is this the sara with the beer cane?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
