Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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